2003 Milk Plus Droogies

Best Picture
Kill Bill Vol. I

Best Director
Quentin Tarantino, Kill Bill Vol. I

Best Actor (tie)
Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean

Best Actor (tie)
Bill Murray, Lost in Translation

Best Actress
Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. I

Best Supporting Actor
David Hyde Pierce, Down With Love

Best Supporting Actress
Miranda Richardson, Spider

Best Screenplay
Sofia Coppola, Lost in Translation

Best Foreign Film

Best Cinematography
Harris Savides, Gerry

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The Blog:
Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Bad Boys II

Bad Boys II is every bit what the critics have called it. I fucking loved every minute. Yes, it's offensive as hell, but I would never place any charge of racism, sexism or homophobia against. It's an equal-opportunity offender. Blacks get it, whites get it, Hispanics get it, gays get it, women get it. If the Farrely brothers decided to make an action movie, this would be close to it (though they'd be far more kindhearted, to be sure). And the film is every bit as disgustingly violent as has been claimed, too. This is a film that begins with a slow motion shot of a bullet tearing through a guy's ass-cheek right before it enters the throat of another man, sending blood squirting all over the place. And we're supposed to laugh at this! Really, the whole thing is just audacious. SPOILERS (as if anybody cares) Two segments would make Takashi Miike proud. In one, our heroes are chasing a mortuary van down a busy street. The back doors of the van manage to fling open, spilling cadavers all over the street. These cadavers then get ripped to shreds by various automobiles, one's head popping off as a car rolls over its neck. In another, our heroes have snuck into the mortuary to examine the bodies. Seems our drug lords have been hollowing out corpses and stuffing drugs inside them. It is our heroes' jobs to open up these corpses and find these drugs. ("I think I feel a bag," then yanking out a bloody organ, "No, wait, it's a kidney.") Many wisecracks are made when Will Smith and the camera spend a little too much time staring at corpse-titties. END SPOILERS (as if you all cared enough to stop reading). The plot is a throwback to the 80's with its clueless attitudes towards drugs (just replace the cocaine with X) with its safe-target, Cuban, Russian, and Haitian enemies (one would've thought Bay would've chosen Arabs as the bad guys), and its heroes killing, I dunno, 400 or so people, many innocent, without blinking an eye, cracking wise the whole time.

Can I recommend this movie? It's action sequences, basically 2 hrs of its 2 hr. 45 min running time, are bravura for sure. No one can ever claim Michael Bay doesn't know how to film and edit an action sequence. The big Ferrari car chase shown in the trailer one would expect to be the center piece of the film, but no. It's dispensed with 20 minutes in, then one-upped time and time again afterwards. One sequence, a raid of a Haitian apartment, probably stands as one of the better I've ever seen. Judging the film in terms of action alone, I'd definately recommend. Thing is, I can't imagine a person not finding something here that would offend. Hell, I was offended more than once, I'm not one to be offended by much. But, Ichi the Killer fan that I am, that didn't bother me. Without redeeming value is this film? Most certainly. Fun as fuck? Again with the most certainly. See it at your own risk.